February 17, 2010

To Friendship


I feel like I want to be honest.

The thing is, I’m missing my friends something terrible. And my family obviously. (None of them live over here in Scandinavia). But my friends, they’re spread all over the world, and in particular, they’re across the pond, which means they’re not here, where they should be, with me. Today, this hurts.

Sure, I have people here in Sweden that I call friends that I hang out with here, but it’s not the same. They’re not friends with a capital F. And I don’t think they ever would be, either. Honestly.

You see, I only came back to Sweden by the end of last year, for a limited period of time and for a specific reason. To re-group, re-organize myself and to change path. Physically and mentally, I left this place ages ago. I hadn’t planned on ever coming back.

But in the end, this little stint turned out to be the best option at the time, and I decided to go for it.

The problem is that sometimes, it’s hard to cope. Really hard.

Just like I knew it would be, it’s hard coming back to something you’ve left, for proper reasons, too.
I would say that six days out of seven are fine, one hangs in there and gets done what needs to be done. But on that seventh day, boy does it get hard. I feel so remote, so distant from everything and everyone that is dear to me, and I’m just hoping it doesn’t show too much. And I’m hoping even more that this too, like this ongoing winter, shall pass.

18 comments:

LENORENEVERMORE said...

I feel you lady!
It seems the winter is getting too loooong this time! All the best, I'm sure you will be better soon!
xo

suzie said...

Hermione, I can really relate to this post, although my circumstances are different. I posted recently on how much I miss my best friend in the UK, and I feel terrible right now since we had a loss in my family and I so want to be with my parents but it is not to be. But I guess, like you, the good days outweigh the bad and spring will for sure improve all our moods! Big hug for you x

Anna said...

although i moved for a different reason (to got o grad school) i completely feel you! oh how i miss my Friends (the ones with a capital F!)! i have a few people here in dc i know vaguely, but like you...not people i'd ever be REALLY friends with. i hope things start to work out soon (and winter finally ends!) xox

Hermione said...

Aw, such sweet comments! Thanks you all! Somehow the feeling of not being alone is really reassuring, and I already feel better. Let's beat this winter blues! And it's always good to try to focus on the things one can do when having more time for oneself, chosen or not :) Much blog love!

tinypaperheart said...

a great post. :)

The Anthology said...

I know what you mean -- friends with a capital F are the best friends in the world. And they're often old, old friends too.

There's nothing better.

*Kelsey

Lydia, Clueless Crafter said...

Hermione, I know the winter darkness. It comes in many forms. Last weekend it all got a little better with a long walk through NY's SoHo district. On the outing, I also picked out a custom hat (a cloche specifically) to keep me warm and the blues at bay. Maybe you should try a fun, new accessory or, as I'm trying to do, knitting a hat?

Hermione said...

Oh Lydia, that sounds so perfect. Next time I'm in NY, Soho'll be one of my first destinations.
The hat sounds perfect too! Maybe I'll take you up on that and get one too. I did buy a summer dress today, it actually did help a bit (a lot). Keeping it real, sort of:)

Helena said...

I know what you mean. I'm in the same position. And I have my boyfriend on the other side of the world too. I love traveling, but the side effect is that now I have my heart in so many places. So I'm always carrying a longing with me, where ever I go/live.
And all my traveling have made me loose heaps of friends too. I'm busy with mine, they are busy with theirs. And all of a sudden we hardly keep in touch anymore. Sad.
Beautiful post though. We'll just have too persevere:)

pennycones said...

Hey,

Moving little post Hermione.

It is hard isn't it. I just came back from visiting my family and old friends and like you some days are harder than others.

I do quite like where I live now but just sometimes, I break and I feel I have to go back. But for now, I don't think I will for a long time. I guess it's because my Son is settled in a good school so for me, I feel to move back would be selfish.

I think winter makes it all ten times worse. Not long till spring :)

x

little room la said...

we might move next year and im getting scared of missing my friends too.. i like the honesty of this post! thank you!

Sum said...

I am so deeply sorry. I feel the same a lot of the times. I hope you find what you've been looking for. Wishing you all the best.

Sum said...

I am so deeply sorry. I feel the same a lot of the times. I hope you find what you've been looking for. Wishing you all the best.

Sum said...

I am so deeply sorry. I feel the same a lot of the times. I hope you find what you've been looking for. Wishing you all the best.

Hermione said...

Oh, your comments really warm my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I think it's also the fact of that the winter up here is going in reverse direction and is only getting colder and snowier.. I'm like, something's wrong here! But really, it's good to know I'm not the only one:) Big hugs to all of you!

The Eternal Intern said...

I know exactly what you feel! Your post so hits home!
Having grown up between different cities...gone to intenational schools...moved around almost every two years...I benefit from the richness of an open mind and friends around the world, but i also often find myself lonely...alone in a certain city...i sometimes wish i had ONE group of friends in ONE location...and then i realize how lucky we are to have our experiences, our open minds, our global friends! your not alone out there! even when it sometimes feels that way!
flora xoxo

cat said...

everything will be good in the end! send u hugs!!! xx cat
CiTiEs of B

Hermione said...

All your comments really moved me. Helena, and so many of you, I feel for you, and I feel for me:D At the end of the day I suppose it's always more gratifying to be grateful for those opportunities we've had and continue to have. But sometimes, you know, just every now and then, it wouldn't hurt to be able to teleport yourself.

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